


Poisoned With Love

by orphan_account



Series: Come What May [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Music, Inspired by a Movie, Love Potion/Spell, Love Triangles, Magical Accidents, Mistakes, Potions Accident, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-20 16:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/889232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki attempts to give Sigyn a potion that will make her fall in love with him but his plan goes awry when Sif drinks the potion instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Was Made For Loving You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was inspired by a couple of different things. Music and a movie. I've been listening/watching them frequently to build up ideas and have some chapters already planned out.

Loki was silent. He had wanted this before but now that he was here, he was having seconds thoughts. He looked up at the woman across from him. She was beautiful and stunning but this didn't feel right. How did he end up here? How did this happen? Why couldn't it have been the woman he wanted?

* * *

_Past_

Loki was silent as he followed Sigyn through the palace gardens. He kept his distance for a while as he watched her from afar. He'd had a crush on her since he was a kid and had attempted to court her several times. She'd politely refused him each time but he still tried time after time. She reached for a rose on one of his mother's rose bushes and he magicked himself beside her. "Careful. They have thorns." He whispered into her ear.

She jumped, startled that he had appeared out of nowhere and turned to look at him. "Please don't do that Prince Loki." She said to him.

"I'm sorry." He said half-heartedly but he gave her a small apologetic smile. "I've told you to just call me Loki." He reminded her and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Yes, you have." She turned back toward the flowers.

He picked the one she had reached for her and gave it to her. "Your flower."

She took it from him with a sigh. “I wasn’t going to pick it.” She held it to her nose and sniffed its sweet scent before slowly walking away. Loki followed her only this time, he was much closer. “Are you following me so you can make another attempt in trying to court me?”

“My intentions are only predictable because you keep refusing me.” He answered her, grabbing her wrist and stopping her. “Why do you refuse me, Sigyn?”

Sigyn turned to look at him. “Because I know who you are, Loki” She told him. “Everyone sees your cunning ways and knows that you are the Prince of Lies. I’m sure you could be charming and kind but I’ve yet to see you be that way.”

“You don‘t think I’m charming already?” Loki asked her with a small smirk on his face. “I’m the Prince of Charming.”

“Charming was the wrong word. I meant honorable.” Sigyn corrected herself, pulling out of his grasp. “If you would excuse me, Prince Charming, I have to go.”

“Will you be at the celebration tonight?” He inquired before she turned to leave. “The one that Thor is throwing for absolutely no reason?”

“I will be there.” Sigyn told him, handing him the flower he had picked. “Do you want me to save you a dance or would you prefer to ask me at the celebration in front of everybody?”

“Save me a dance.” Loki told her before she turned away from him and headed back to her chambers. Loki looked down at the rose in his hand and a thought crossed his mind. He smiled to himself before heading to his study.  
  
 _Later that day...._

Loki walked around the celebration carefully. He was looking for Sigyn and had not seen her yet. He had a _special_ drink for her. He'd spent the entire afternoon working on the potion and put it into a small vial. Upon arriving at the celebration, he'd made his way toward the drink table where he'd picked up one of the glasses and covertly poured it without anyone noticing his odd behavior. He also picked up a glass for himself. The only thing left to do was to find Sigyn.

He spotted her through the crowd between them. He made his way over to her and tapped her shoulder. "I have a drink for you." Loki said to Sigyn. She turned around to face him, there was a full glass in her hand. "Oh. You have a drink."

"Yes. Theoric already gave me a glass." She gestured to the man beside her. He was slightly shorter than Loki with sandy blonde hair and pale blue eyes. He was more muscular than Loki was but less than Thor.

"It's very nice to meet you." Theoric stretched out his hand and Loki shook it, hiding his displeasure of the man who had gotten his Sigyn a drink. Loki muttered a polite reply to him along the same lines. Sigyn turned and began to talk to someone else. To his displeasure, that person was the Lady Sif. 

Loki made a strange noise in his throat as he watched Sigyn grab the glass from him and offer the glass to Sif. Loki tried to remain calm as he thought of a way to stop Sif from drinking it. Maybe he could distract her somehow- "Oh no." He whispered as Sif took it from her and drank some of it. He bit his lip to prevent any outburst that threaten to escape from him. This was not what he had planned. He tapped his foot against the floor nervously as he watched Sif carefully. She returned to eating and Loki kept on staring at her. This can't be happening. He thought to himself, This really can't be happening. He didn't even care enough to go extract the dance Sigyn owed him.

Sif excused herself from the celebration and headed back to her room. Loki excused himself as well shortly afterward and followed her in the shadows. She didn't seem like she wanted him. Maybe it hadn't worked at all. Sif entered her room and closed the door behind her. She yawned and crawled into her bed. "So tired." She murmured as her head hit her pillow and she fell asleep instantly.


	2. You Were Made For Loving Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sif starts to feel the effects of the potion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This Is Not Fair, I Am Beyond Repair  
> Coz Of You  
> You-u-u-You, You-u-u  
> Can't Find My Head, So I've Fallen Instead  
> Over You  
> You-u-u-You, You-u-u"  
> -Poisoned With Love by Neon Hitch

_Sif had been wandering around the gardens looking for the two princes she was absolutely sure were hiding somewhere near her. They were playing one of the old games that Thor had created and he’d grabbed his brother and run off away from her. She moved quietly and carefully, listening to the sounds around her for any sign that she was close to them. She thought she heard a sound behind her but when she turned around no one was there._

_Someone grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth with their hand before pulling her past a row of very tall shrubbery. She tried to squirm away from them, kicking violently. “Calm down, Sif. It’s only me.” Loki’s voice whispered in her ear and Sif paused thrashing momentarily. “I mean you no harm.”_

_Loki released her and she spun on her heel to face him. “What do you think you’re doing?!” She yelled at him._

_Loki shushed her. “Keep your voice down.” He pushed himself up on his toes and looked over the shrubbery before looking back to her. “Thor’s looking for me but he’ll never look here. He’s allergic to the pollen produced by the flowers from these bushes.”_

_Sif looked around and quickly recognized where they were at. This is where he had hidden her during one of their games when they were younger. Just a day before he cut her hair and enchanted it to be dark. “Loki, why are we here?”_

_“We both need time away from Thor.” Loki told her and he sat down on the ground. Sif sighed before she sat down right beside him. “Just like old times, am I right?” He asked her with a grin._

_Sif frowned. “Yes, just like old times until you ruined our friendship with what you did to my hair.”_

_Loki’s grin fell. “I’m sorry, Sif.” He apologized to her sincerely._

_Sif let out a soft scoff and looked away from him. “Are you really? I know why you did it.”_

_“I really am sorry, Sif. I was a foolish little kid with a silly little crush.” Loki told her, reaching across the space between them and grabbing her hand. “Not that it matters now but you were right.”_

_“Oh Really?” Sif feigned surprise before rolling her eyes. “I told you that Sigyn and I had the same hair color.”_

_Loki chuckled to himself. “That’s not what you’re right about.” He said to her and Sif gave him a confused look. “You were- still are- much prettier than she is.”_

_Sif flushed at his words. “Loki, that’s not true.”_

_“Yes, it is.” Loki argued, squeezing her hand gently before reaching up and tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear. Sif stared at Loki, the flush on her cheeks deepening. His hand cupped the back of her neck gently and pulled her to him._

_Her lips met his and-_

Sif pushed herself up quickly. She looked around quickly but she let out a sigh when she realized she was alone in her room. She couldn't believe she had actually dreamt of Loki! Of all the men in all of Asgard, she had dreamt that Loki had kissed her! She hadn't thought of Loki in that way since he had cut off her hair and turned it black. She shook her head before she crawled out of her bed and changed into her usual tunic and trousers. Sif yawned as she headed to meet her friends for breakfast. She sat down next to Volstagg, who had already started to eat, and filled her plate as she waited for the rest of her friends to arrive. She had been chatting with Fandral and Volstagg when Thor and Loki arrived. She was distracted as Loki sat down across from her.

She felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she thought back to her dream. She bit her lip and tried to stop from blushing. Loki was in his more casual set of clothes and Sif could see the expanse of his neck. She blushed even more at the thought of getting him alone so she could kiss that area of his neck or maybe lick it or- Loki looked up and over at her.

She ducked her head and slowly chewed the food in her mouth but looked over at Loki. He stared at her for a moment before grabbing his glass of wine and took a long sip. Sif stopped chewing so she could watch the way the lump on his throat moved. Oh, how she would love to bite that. She thought to herself.

"Sif? Are you alright? You look a bit flushed." Fandral asked her and she looked over at him quickly.

"I-I’m- I'm-" She stammered with food in her mouth and the blush on her cheeks deepened. She could feel Loki staring at her again. She swallowed the food in her mouth. "Fine. Good. Fine." She answered before setting her fork down beside her plate.

"You don't seem like you are. What's wrong?" Volstagg inquired. She looked to him before her eyes darted back to Loki briefly. He was definitely staring at her.

"It's nothing. Really nothing." She tried to say convincingly, looking away from Loki once again, but they all were starting to notice her odd behavior.

"You're among friends, Sif. You can tell us anything." Thor said to her. She bit her lip hard and started to tap her foot against the floor nervously.

"Can we just eat please?" She asked them before picking up her fork and stabbing at her food harshly.

"Of course." Loki answered her frigidly and she stopped stabbing at her food. He had spoken to her. He had spoken to her. The thought repeated itself in her mind over and over. "Yet, you don't seem to be eating much at the moment." He added after watching her stop moving altogether. He had spoken to her. He had spoken-

"Sif? Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" Fandral questioned her once more.

Sif was quiet and slowly looked up from her plate. "On second thought, I don't think I'm that hungry." She said as she pushed her plate away from her and looked at Loki. "I'll just wait for everyone to be done." She caught Loki's scrutinizing gaze and licked her suddenly dry lips. His eyes widened briefly before he looked away from her and looked down at his plate. Sif rested her head on her elbow and watched her friends eat. Her eyes landed on Loki quite often and she would stare at him for long periods of time before she would realize that she was staring at him. Loki stood up suddenly and took off without a word. Sif watched him leave before she excused herself and followed after him. 

For a moment, Sif was worried that she had lost him as she walked through a couple of corridors but spotted him as she rounded a corner. "Loki, stop!" She yelled at him. Loki turned around slowly as Sif approached him. She stopped in front of him and Loki waited for her to say something. She just stared at him just like she had done during his meal.

"Is there something you need?" He asked her calmly, hoping that her odd behavior wasn't because of the potion. Sif nodded slowly and Loki waited for her to say something to him. Her eyes wandered away form his and over his body. Loki tensed as she did so. Her eyes met his again before her fist appeared out of nowhere and punched him in the face. Loki staggered slightly, feeling pain the moment her fist connected with his jaw.

"What was that for?!" He exclaimed angrily, touching his jaw gingerly. Sif grabbed his shoulders and pushed him up against the nearest wall. His head hit the wall hard and he hissed in pain. He was about to ask Sif what this was all about when her lips covered his. His eyes widened in surprise and a bit of shock. Loki grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her away from him. "What in Hel's name are you doing?!?!"

"I-I... I don't know." She stammered. "I don't understand why- I- I just.. I have feelings for you, Loki. I don't understand why it's happening  _now._  I had to kiss you. I just felt that I had to and I still feel like I should."

"No, you can't!" Loki said loudly, before he realized that someone could running to see what was wrong and see them so close to each other. "I mean, no. You can't- You can't have  _feelings_ for  _me_. I'm- I'm...God of Mischief and Lies! I lie! I cause mischief! I cheat when we spar. I'm _not_ what you want, Sif! You're just not thinking straight because you haven't really eaten!" Loki said quickly, letting go of her shoulders.

Sif rubbed her temples. "Perhaps, you are right. I must not have eaten enough food." She said in agreement.

"You should go eat." Loki suggested as he moved away from the wall. "I'm going to go this way. You just go eat and everything will be fine." Sif nodded and turned around to head back to the dining hall. Loki sighed in relief once she was gone and quickly headed to his study. There must be some kind of cure for her or counter potion. _Something!_ If this was the effects of the potion, and Loki would strongly bet that it was, it was **not** going to get any better over the course of time if he didn't fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the lateness. I have been RP as Loki. I have so many feels.


	3. Love Makes Us Act Like We Are Fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, I feel like I'm losing my mind, mind  
> She crept into your life, life  
> And cut me up like a knife, knife.  
> -Love You Betta by Neon Hitch

_"Good evening, Sif." Loki greeted her with a smile as he sat down beside her._

_Sif smiled back. "Good evening." She greeted back before looking back up at the starry night sky. "Beautiful night, isn't it?"_

_"It always is." Loki agreed as he laid down on his back beside her._

_"I haven't seen you in a while." Sif told him, turning her head to look at him as she said this._

_"I've been busy." Loki lied easily, still looking up at night sky._

_"Please, don't lie to me." Sif said to him with a sigh as she looked away from him and stood up._

_"I'm sorry." He apologized as he stood up as well. "I just didn't know what to do after I had kissed you the other day."_

_"Then, why did you kiss me?" She asked him, looking back at him._

_"I had wanted to." Loki admitted, before going on. "But afterwards, I feared that I had done the wrong thing, that you didn't really want me. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I just don't want to be hurt. I don't think I could stand it if it happened again."_

_"Again?" Sif inquired._

_"When I had told you about my silly crush on Sigyn, you walked away and I tried to stop you. You punched me in the face." Loki reminded her. "You'd never hit me like that before. It hurt much more than physically when it happened."_

_"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that." Sif apologized to him. Loki continued to stare at her. Sif stared back at him before his gaze began to be uncomfortable. "What?"_

_"I was just thinking about that day." Loki told her. "I was a fool. A proper idiot if I couldn't see what was right in front of me."_

_Sif blushed. "Loki-" He shushed her quietly and leaned forward toward her._

_"I want you, Sif." Loki whispered, there was only a small distance between them. Sif tilted her head upwards and her lips brushed against his. "I want you to be mine." Loki murmured._

_"I want you too." Sif confessed, her blush deepening. Loki captured her lips and Sif kissed him back, her arms wrapping around his neck as his arms wrapped around her waist._

The next morning was worse for Sif. Not only were her dreams plagued by Loki, she and his dream counterpart had went beyond just kissing and now, Sif felt a sticky sensation between her legs. Sif grabbed her pillow and held it over her face. She wanted to scream but was too tired to do so. She threw the pillow across the room instead before heading to her washroom to clean herself before heading to breakfast.

Sif headed toward the table where the Warriors Three were sitting. "Just be quiet for once, Hogun." Fandral said to him as Sif approached them. They smiled and greeted her as she sat down across from Hogun. Sif was too distracted by the images of her dream to notice that he was sitting in her spot. She filled her plate and started to eat when Thor and Loki joined them once again. Loki sat in the spot to her right since she had taken his spot, which he mumbled about to himself. Her eyes were fixed on him from the moment he had sat down beside her and filled his plate. Across the table, Fandral and Volstagg exchanged a look over Hogun's head.

Her food lies forgotten on her plate as she watched the way he picked up a grape and popped it into his mouth. Loki started to feel Sif staring at him but he choose not to say anything about it. He was still upset that there was no way to undo the potion except to let the effects wear off over time. He was not happy about this fact or the fact that Sif was slowly inching closer to him until her leg was pressed against his. Loki paused momentarily in eating his food to look at her out of the corner of his eye. For the moment, her eyes are refocused on her plate. His owns eyes look back to his plate and starts to eat his food again. Sif's hand slowly crosses onto his upper thigh from her lap and rests there without moving. He looks at her and catches her looking at him. "Shouldn't you be eating?" He asks her in a low voice.

Sif knew that this was the voice he used whenever he was in a bad mood but all it did was send a small shiver down her spine. "I'm not all that hungry." She said to him. "Sometimes, my eyes are bigger than my stomach." She added after a thought.

Loki looked away from her again and attempted to eat his food once more. He had a piece of fruit halfway to his mouth when she started to trace circles onto his thigh and her leg rubbed against the underside of his leg. His fork clattered against his plate. "Can you please move over? Just move over." He demanded and Sif moved back to how she'd originally been sitting, removing herself from him. "Good. Now, don't move." Loki sighed and picked his fork back up.

He looked over at Fandral across form him, who was attempting to hide a smile behind his hand. Loki looked over at the others. Hogun remained his usual stoic self except his eyebrow was raised in question. Volstagg avoided Loki's gaze. Thor stared at Loki as if his brother had just became the craziest person ever. Sif just stared at him longingly. Loki looked away from them both and picked up his glass as he took a long drink from it.

It was at this time that Sif leaned over and whispered into his ear. "I had a fantastic dream about you. You had a wonderful time on your knees, _silvertongue_." Loki choked on his drink once the meaning of her words sunk in. Soon, he was coughing, sputtering, and swearing as he tried to regain himself. Sif patted him on his back as he did so and moved back closer to him. His face turned red with embarrassment and at his brief moment without oxygen. "Are you alright?" She asked him with concern. Loki attempted to say something when he started another coughing fit.

After a few moments, it was over with and he was breathing somewhat normally again. "Do not say anything like that again." He said hoarsely.

"What did she say, brother?" Thor asked him and Sif turned to answer him.

"I was telling him about-" Loki's hand covered her mouth quickly before the rest of it could be said again.

"Nothing that should be repeated _ever_." Loki answered and Sif nodded slowly. He removed his hand and turned back to hi meal. Sif stayed pressed against his side for the rest of the meal. Her hand had attempted to move across his thigh multiple time but Loki kept grabbing her wrist and forcing it back onto her lap where her other hand rested. She managed briefly to brush her hand across the front of his trousers. Loki closed his eyes and gripped the table hard. _Do not react to what she's doing._ He kept repeating to himself in his head. Sif’s hand brushed against him once again. Loki quickly grabbed her wrist and then he held onto it for the rest of time being to prevent her from doing so again. When he was done eating, he let go of her wrist, stood up abruptly, and left quickly again. Sif watched him leave before she excused herself and chased after him again.

Loki sighed angrily as Sif yelled at him, "Loki, wait! I must speak with you!" He stopped and turned on his heel to face her.

"What do you think you were doing back there?!" He hissed at her but Sif didn't seem to notice that he was angry with her. "Why did you have to tell me about your dream?! Dreams are very private things and now, my tongue has this odd feeling because you told me what your dream was! I'll have to go clean my tongue several times to get rid of the feeling of such an idea!"

"I told you, Loki. I don't know what has come over me." Sif repeated. "These last couple of days you've been plaguing my dreams. I feel the need to be around you all the time. I-I want you and the things you did in my dream..." She trailed off and her cheeks turned bright red.

"Look, Sif. This isn't you." He began to explain to her. "You don't want me. You don't even like me. What you're feeling is because of a potion-"

"No, it isn't!" Sif interrupted a bit outraged that he would say that about her feelings for him. She was most certainly not under the influence of some potion. "No stupid potion is going to control what I feel for you! I- I have had feelings for you since we were kids." She told him and Loki looked at her surprised by such a confession. "And then you went and ruined it all by cutting my hair and enchanting it." Sif added and Loki rolled his eyes. She always brought this up when they fought and she'd found a new way to twist the story.

"This really isn't you, Sif!" Loki argued with her. "This is the effects of the potion!"

"I haven't ingested any of your stupid potions!" She yelled at him. "Why would you even give me a potion in the first place!?"

"It wasn't for you!" Loki answered her. "It was for Sigyn! She gave it to you accidentally! You don't want me!" He turned on his heel once again and tried to storm away from her.

Sif grabbed his arm and stopped him. "I do want you!"

"You're confused, Sif." Loki told her.

"No, I'm not!" She argued back. "You can't tell me what I am or what I feel. That's what I am supposed to do and right now, I am not confused and I have feelings for you." Sif sighed angrily. "Why do you have to push away anyone who cares about you?"

"I don't-" Loki began to say but Sif interruped him.

"You do. You push us away, Loki." Sif told him. "You haven't let anyone get close to you since..." She trailed off, _since the day that he revealed his crush on Sigyn to her_. Sif bit her lip and Loki said nothing to her. He turned and walked away once again and Sif stood there, watching him leave. Sif closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She realized she had upset him.  She heard a pair of footsteps and Sif opened her eyes as Sigyn came around the corner several minutes later. She smiled at Sif as she passed by her and Sif smiled back politely. Sif began to walk the other way when she turned around and glanced back at Sigyn. Her golden hair swayed with each step she took. An idea appeared in Sif's mind and Sif smirked as she looked back in front of her. "That might work." Sif murmured to herself as she headed to her room. She headed straight toward a trunk at the end of her bed and opened it. "Oh, yes. This will definitely work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning isn't always going to start like it has been. I just needed the dream sequences for last couple chapters. They're over now, no more of them.
> 
> What do you think will happen next?! What's Sif's idea and what is in her trunk?


	4. She Can Love You Good, But I Can Love You Betta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's prettier than I'll ever be  
> Got yourself a beauty queen, yeah  
> But there's one thing I gotta say  
> She can love you good, but I can love you betta  
> -Love You Betta by Neon Hitch

Loki walked through the gardens carefully. He was looking for Sigyn. One of the guards had delievered a note to him and it had been from her, asking him to meet her in the gardens. _This was it._ He told himself. _After centuries of trying to court her, this has to be it._

Loki caught sight of familiar blonde hair and he moved quickly. She was wearing a simple pale blue dress. Loki's eyes roamed over the figure in front of him and smiled. He stepped toward her until he was right behind her. "You wanted to see me?" He asked, his breath in her ear.

"Of course." Sif's voice answered. "Do I have your attention now?"

Loki's eyes widened."What?!" He grabbed the blonde hair on her head and pulled. Dark locks spilled free from underneath and he looked down at the wig in his hands. "Damn it, Sif!" Loki turned Sif around to look at her. He had been forced to get a wig for her with the same color of hair she previously had. Sif had refused to wear it but took it from anyway. Loki hadn't expected her to actually keep it. 

"I really do have feelings for you and I'm sure you have feelings-" Sif attempted to say.

"No, you're wrong!" Loki interrupted. He was pissed. She had used his crush on Sigyn against him to trick him into meeting  with her."You are wrong!" He was furious.

Sif shook her head. "You must have some feelings for me. I know you must. We used to be friends. Don't you care for me? About the friendship we used to have at least?"

_This is getting absolutely ridiculous. Can't she see what's going on?_ His mind thought before he stepped toward her. "Open your eyes, Sif. We are no longer friends. I would be happier being your _enemy_ than being your _acquaintance_."

"What?" Sif asked and shook her head. "No-"

"Yes. I could never be your friend." Loki argued.

"No. That's not true." Sif said, trying to counter against his argument. "You were my friend. You told me your secrets and I told you mine. We were friends."

"Were being the key word there, Sif." Loki told her. "What are we now? What are we?"

"We're friends-" Sif began but Loki interrupted her.

"We are not friends. You're not my friend. I don't tell you my secrets. You don't tell me yours." Loki countered. "What are we really Sif?" Sif bit her lip to prevent it from trembling. "What are we?!" He asked her.

"Friends! We are friends!" Sif yelled at him.

"No, we are not! What are we?!?!" Loki yelled back at her. Sif shook her head, refusing to answer him again. "No seriously, you started this! Do you want an honest answer to that question?" He asked her, quite loudly.

Sif turned away from him. "No, don't worry about it. You've made your point." 

"We mean nothing to each other, Sif." Loki began quite coldly. "I mean you might see me as an emotional, unstable, jealous wreck at best! And I see you as some ignorant, idiot woman pretending to be a trained shieldmaiden because you feel that your mother and father don't pay enough attention to you and you desperately need their approval for everything you do."

His words hit her deep in her chest and she closed her eyes. Her lip trembled and she bit it tightly as he continued.

"I'm not saying I'm much better! I have to compete against Thor, the golden prince, for attention from my parents. And you don't know how hard that can be because everyone sees me as his little brother. I'm not my own person. I have to be _his_ brother!" Loki yelled at her angrily. "No one wants Thor's little brother. They want Thor. They want  _him_. They never want _me_. Even when we were friends, you never wanted to be _my_ friend. You wanted to be _Thor's_. Which is why I had to cut myself off from everyone around me because no one ever wanted to be _my_ friend."

Sif felt her eyes begin to fill with tears.

He threw his hands up before sitting down on a bench. "And now, I have finally, for the first time in a long time- a very long time might I add- have gotten to the place where I actually feel like I could get close to somebody again. I could never imagine that in a million years- a _million_ years, Sif- that you could be that person. I mean, we are so completely opposite and  _wrong_  for each other, it's not even funny!  I could _never_ love you.And the worst part about that, the worst part about all of this, is you know that all of this! You know that it is true! You were just one big mistake in my life. So, I'm sorry if I'm not more appreciative of what we _used_ to be but don't you pretend we're  _anything_  else now!"

Sif nodded her head slighty but didn't look at him. She sighed and reached up to wipe away the tears in her eyes. It was a failed attempt as more tears took the place of the ones she wiped.

"Don't act like you're hurt." Loki told her as he watched her. Sif let out a huff of breath along with a failed attempt to laugh. She bit her lip to prevent anything else from being released. She turned around and left him in the gardens.

Sif picked up the first thing she could find when she entered her room, which happened to be the pillow she had thrown earlier, and threw it at the wall angrily. More tears began to fall from her eyes and she let out a sob she had been holding in as she climbed onto her bed and wrapped herself up in her blankets.

Loki walked into her room with the wig in his hands. "You forgot-" He stopped midsentence and looked over at her. He's never seen her cry, none of them have. He knew Sif could be beyond furious when she was angry but she never ever cries. The sob she lets out strikes at his chest and makes it ache. Perhaps, he was too harsh with her. He stepped into the room slowly and the ache in his chest grows as she continues to cry. He never wanted to make her cry. He just needed some space from her. "Sif?" He asks, dropping the wig on the trunk at the end of her bed.

Through blurred, teary eyes, she can see him and she turns away from him. "Go away! Leave me alone!" She yells at him. He sat down next to her on the side of her bed. "Go! You'll never love me so just go! Just-" She stops short as another sob falls from her lips. Despite all his knowledge, he doesn't know what he should do. He slowly pulls Sif up by her arm. she turns to him, still very upset. "Let go of me!" She yells at him, hitting his hand. Loki pulls her against his chest and wraps his arms aorund her, holding onto her tightly. "Let go!" She screams at him, her fists hitting his chest as she tried to et out of his embrace. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate-" Her mantra stops when another sob from her cuts her off again and her fists slowly stop hitting him. 

Loki starts to stroke her hair as she cries against his chest. He whispers in to her ear, "I'm so sorry, Sif. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeats over and over again, apologizing for everything he's said to her. "I never meant it, Sif. I didn't mean what I said. I never wanted to make you cry." 

"Don't go." Sif whispers to him. "Don't leave me."

Loki sighed quietly. "I'm not going anywhere, Sif."

Sif pulled back slightly so she could look at him. He looked upset and there also appeared to be a look of utter guilt in his eyes. His hands moves from her hair to wipe at the tears falling from her eyes. "Loki?" Sif began quietly. Loki kept her gaze. "Will you- Will you kiss me?" She asks him and Loki was quiet.

Sigyn made her way through the halls to the Lady Sif's room. She had seen her crying a few moments ago and hoped that she had calmed down somewhat so Sigyn could ask her what was wrong. She heard Sif's voice faintly coming from an open doorway. She turned into the room and stopped immediately. Loki was here as well and he was kissing Sif! His hand was cupping her cheek, his arm wrapped around her waist, his eyes closed, and he was kissing _Sif_! Sigyn' open mouth closed and she clenched her teeth angrily. This was the same man that had attempted to court her a few days ago and now, he was kissing another woman! Her nostrils flared in anger and she stormed away from the both of them.


	5. Love is... Unpredictable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tis very late, I know but here it is! I actually split up this chapter into the next few ones because there was so much that needed to be read over and a lot of it just needs to be given in portions. Lots of drama!

Loki was careful over the next couple of days. He avoided Sif as if she held some contagious and deadly plague. He was forced to find several new hiding places once she had located him in all of his usual hiding spots.

He was currently hiding in an old sewing room that his mother had used briefly before deciding the lighting in the room was too dark. Loki had taken several books into the room to keep his mind occupied.

He opened one of the windowsills and sat upon the dry and dusty windowsill. He heard Sif yell loudly and nearly fell off the windowsill.

He looked to the door quickly to find it still blocked by the old equipment in the room that he had placed against it. He looked around the room with quick eyes but did not find the dark haired woman anywhere.

His eyes drifted to the ground below him and he tensed slightly as Sif attacked Fandral quite viciously in the training grounds. He quickly magicked himself out of sight but did not move from his position as he watched her.

"I yield! I yield!" Fandral said to her, trying to use his sword to protect himself. Sif threw down her sword angrily with a frustrated growl. Fandral swore under his breath and Sif crossed her arms before walking to one of the benches and sulking.

"What are you so angry about?" Fandral asked her, knowing that he had probably had said the wrong thing and Sif would become even more angry at his question. Sif glared at Fandral, and Loki would have sworn that if looks could kill, then her's would have. She looked away from Fandral to stare at the ground.

Loki watched her from his perch. Her hands were clenched tightly as were her jaw. Her feet were planted firmly on the ground. Her whole body was tense.

Her jaw moved and she spoke softly, but Loki could not make out the words she was saying. Fandral couldn't either and asked her to repeat herself. She sighed and spoke once more. Loki leaned foward to try to hear her bretter. He was still unable to. He leaned more and more until-

He saw the ground below him and then it was swiftly moving up toward him-

_WHACK!_

He groaned as he hit the ground hard. His vision was blurred and his body ached painfully. He heard a yell and felt a pair of hands wrap around his arms, lifting him to his feet. Someone said something to him but he was too disoriented to hear their words. They go of him briefly and he stumbled forward, almost falling until they caught him again. 

 _Loki_.

He heard his name but couldn't figure out if it had been spoken or if it was just something in his mind.

_Loki!_

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on where the sound was coming from.

_LOKI!_

He felt someone shaking him so he opened his eyes quickly.

_Loki, oh gods._

He could barely make out the figure that was holding him upright before his vision went black.

" _Sif, help me._ " He murmured before the blackness consumed him completely.

 

. . . . . . . . .

Loki opened his eyes slowly. He still felt a dull ache in his limbs and a slight pounding in his head. There was a tightness around his wrist and he lifted his head gingerly. 

"You're awake. That's good." He looked over at Sif sitting very close to him. He looked to his wrist and saw her hand wrapped around it. She looked down before letting go of his wrist. "You fell from that window." Sif told him, pointing up at the window above them with her other hand. "Some of your books landed nearby so I grabbed them for you." She gestured to the stack of books near them.

The three books were neatly stacked in a  pile and organized alphabetically by title. Loki looked back at Sif. 

"How long was I out?" He asked as he pushed himself up off the ground into a sitting position.

"For almost an hour." Sif said quietly. "I didn't want to risk moving you if you had injured yourself. Fandral is bringing one of the healers to check up on you." Loki was silent and said nothing to Sif. "Are you feeling well?"

"I just fell out of a window that was very high up. I don't think I'm feeling fine." Loki answered.

"I'm sorry. I was just asking." Sif replied to him. "It would be wise if you didn't move much further you might injure yourself." She told him as he began to attempt to help himself stand up. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet.

Loki shrugged and continued on, "I'll be fine. I can go see the healers about any injuries I have."

"I'll accompany you then," Sif stood up with him.

Loki shook his head, "It would be wise if you didn't."

"As a warrior of Asgard, it is my duty to make sure that no harm comes to you." Sif told him.

"I've already been harmed, Sif. I can manage on my own without you following me." Loki argued with her.

"Loki-" Sif began to say but Loki stopped her.

He pulled his arm from her grasp. "I will be fine. I don't need you to follow me about like a shadow."

"Why not? You spend your time in the shadows. You should be used to them by now." Sif snapped at him.

Loki stopped any movement he was about to make. "What did you just say to me?"

Her eyes widened after a moment and she touched his arm gently. "I didn't mean-"

"Don't lie to _me_. You meant every word." He hissed at her, pulling his arm away from her.

"I didn't mean it like that. Loki, please-" Sif tried to explain. if could see the tears well up in his eyes and the sight of his tears began to create tears in her eyes.

"You stay away from me!" Loki yelled at her as he backed away from her.

Sif stepped toward him. "Loki-"

"Stay away from me or I-I- " He stammered angrily. Tears spilled from his eyes.

"I never meant it like that." Sif stepped toward him again and he continued to move away from her. 

"Stay away from me!" He yelled at her and Sif stoppd moving towards him.

"Loki, I'm so sorry." Sif whispered to him.

Loki shook his head."You stay away or I swear you will regret it. I swear by Bor's beard if you even walk into the same room that I am in, you will thoroughly and utterly regret it." He turned and stormed away from her.

Sif watched him as he left her alone in the gardens until he was gone from her sight. She wiped away the tears that nearly fell from her eyes. She hung her head and stared at the ground. Her eyes fell upon his pile of books before she picked them up and headed off in the opposite direction of Loki.

She walked to the library slowly. She shuffled the books and read over their titles:  _Aesgishjalmr,_ _Haegtesse,_ and _ _Helliruna__. Sif sighed slowly and looked around the empty hallway. She opened up one of the books and scanned the page. The other books immediately dropped from her grasp and she took off running with the book in her hand.

She spotted Thor as she rounded a corner and grabbed his arm. "Thor! Loki-"

"I saw him heading toward the healing chambers. He said he fell from a window." Thor pointed in the direction Loki had gone.

"I don't need to see him." Sif held the book up to him. "Look at this book. This is one of Loki's books." Thor took the book from her hands and read over the page she had opened to. " _Helliruna_ _!_ It's magic that brings back the dead. It's very dark magic. It's very dangerous." Sif pointed at one of the images. "All that have attempted it have died! It's madness and Loki is reading about this!" _  
_

"Sif, Loki wouldn't be stupid enough to attempt it." Thor told her.

Sif turned the page and pulled out a piece of paper. "It's in his handwriting. It's a list of ingredients and the ritual." Sif argued. "He thinks he can actually do this. You must stop him before he gets hurt!"

"Sif-" Thor began to say.

" _Please_ , Thor. He needs help. _Please_." Sif pleaded.

"If I tell Father, he'll likely ban him from these types of books and then you will have pissed Loki off beyond his normal fits of anger." Thor pointed out.

"It needs to be done before he accidentally kills himself." Sif said firmly.

Thor thought it over for a few moments before sighing and closig the book. "I will take the book to Father and tell him what Loki is up to. Prepare yourself for whatever outburst Loki may have. It surely will not be a pretty sight." He warned her carefully and Sif nodded slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terms to know:
> 
> Aegishjalmr- Magical symbol worn by Vikings for invincibility. 
> 
> Haegtesse- An Old English word that translates to "hedge rider. Hedge-riding is the act of crossing this "hedge" or boundary entrance and interacting with the spirits of the other side
> 
> Helliruna- Old High German has hellirúna "necromancy".


	6. Love is...Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on some of the future chapters, developing it plot wise, which is why I was gone for so long! I'm sorry lovelies! Hopefully, I'll start posting the next chapters a bit faster.

No one saw Loki for weeks after Odin had gone into his room and taken all of his research to examine exactly what his son had been researching. Thor and all of the others watched themselves carefully the first couple of weeks after it had happened, expecting Loki to appear furious with the lot of them. Yet, Loki never showed up and instead, he kept himself secluded in his room for four consecutive weeks.

Sif accompanied Frigga to the doors of Loki's chambers every day when Frigga went to check up on her son but Sif never entered his chambers with her. Frigga would try to convince her to come inside so that Loki could see that one of his friends was concerned about his well-being but Sif pointedly refused to go inside to see Loki.

This was just one of the ways Sif punished herself for hurting Loki and it was killing her inside not to see him.

Sif would wait outside the doors for at least an hour just sitting on the cold corridor floor until the Queen was done trying to reason with her son to come outside of his room. It wasn't just her own self-punishment keeping herself outside of Loki's chambers. Loki had told her she would regret it if she went in the same room as him and she let his words repeat in her mind as a warning of what would happen if she ever did decide to go into his room.

She was sure Frigga would try to repair their friendship if Sif mentioned what Loki had last said to her. However, SIf figured that she had done enough already to hurt Loki and that their friendship was most likely at an end if it had not ended already.

"Why are you doing this?"

Sif turned her head and stared at Loki. She said nothing to him as she was not sure it was even him sitting beside her. The Loki beside her did look a bit ragged and worn out. She could just be imagining him here.

"I asked you a question and I expect an answer," he said to her with a sneer. Perhaps, this actually was the real Loki.

"I do not understand what you mean," Sif answered him.

"I have wards to tell me when and who approaches my chambers. You've been out here every single day that my mother comes to visit me but you've yet to come inside," Loki began. "Now, I want an answer of why you are doing this. I'm sure your...feelings for me have yet to diminish but you sit outside of my rooms on the cold floor for hours. Tell me why."

"I should go," Sif stood up quickly and Loki grabbed her arm to prevent her from leaving.

"Answer me now!" Loki demanded.

"Thor has your answers-" Sif tried to say but Loki interrupted her.

"I want to hear it from you," Loki said quickly.

Sif was silent as she stared at Loki and Loki stared right back at her, waiting for what she had to say.

Several minutes passed by before Sif spoke, "This is a form of self-punishment, just like I have refrained from training and visiting with our friends," Sif took a deep breath as she mentally prepared herself for what she was going to say next. "I saw your books the day you fell from the window. I told Thor that he should go to the Allfather because you were dabbling in dangerous magic. It is my fault that your research is now in Odin's hands." Loki let go of her arm, still staring at her and saying nothing. "Excuse me, my prince but I must return to the solitude of my own chambers." She turned away from him and headed off to her chambers.

Five days passed after Loki and Sif's conversation. Sif had stopped accompanying Frigga to visit Loki and she locked herself away in her room just as Loki had done. The food that was left at her door either done by Thor, one of the Warriors Three, Frigga -she couldn't be sure exactly who it was- was barely even touched when the plate was removed later on. Her friends had tried to stop by to inquiry about her well being but she told them to leave her be as she wanted some time alone and remained quiet until they left.

Sif spent the time curled up on her bed, staring out the windows of her balcony doors at the sky and at other times, she could not see the sky through her tears. She felt horrible about interferring with Loki's research and that everything he had researched was taken away from him but she had done it for his protection and now he was angry with her. Sif was still curled up in a ball crying when there was another knock at her door. She didn't feel like speaking and refrained from telling whomever was at the door to go away.

She jumped slightly when her bed dipped as Loki sat beside her a few moments later and was clearly avoiding her gaze. "What are you doing?" She asked him, wiping at her tears quickly.

Loki gave an exasperated sigh. "Your self-punishment as you put it before ends now. You need to stop trying to cut yourself off from everyone. Your friends are worried for you."

"They need not worry about-" Sif tried to argue with him.

" _I_ am worried for you," He continued, turning to look at her. "You haven't been eating much of the meals I leave for you. Your actions are beginning to really concern me."

"I'm sorry for what I did." Sif apologized quietly.

Loki ran a hand through his hair. "It's not your fault. It's my own. I should be more careful with my translations of ancient text as apparently they come off as me dabbling in dangerous magic." Sif gave him a puzzling look. "Those books are very old and it is difficult to read certain passages without translation. I had written down the ritual I managed to translate as a guide for the rest of the book and for the others."

"You weren't going to try to ressurect someone from the dead?" Sif asked him, suprise filling her face.

"-and risk my own life in the process? No, thank you. It may seem like I am some sort of risk taker with all of my very educational researching but I prefer to live." Loki answered her with a bit of snarky remark, making Sif smile and chuckle. Loki smiled as well. "That looks a bit like the Sif I know. If I recall correctly, this will bring you back up to spirits in no time." He reached across the bed to tickle her sides.

Sif squealed at the very unexpected tickling sensation and attempted to roll away from Loki, who only followed her to continue tickling her sides. "No, no, no." Sif protested, trying to grab Loki's hands to stop him.

"I'm not going to stop until you stop this self-punishment." Loki told her, still trying to tickle her and letting his limbs get tangled up with hers in the process.

"I'll stop! I promise! I promise!" Sif laughed and squirmed as his hands still tickled her sides. "I swear it on my title and everything I am! Stop tickling me!" Loki stopped his movements and let Sif catch her breath. "Thank you."

"But it is so much fun to hear you scream." Loki chuckled happily as he stared down at Sif beneath him.

"Watch it, you are just as ticklish as I am." Sif warned him as she let oxygen fill her lungs and to prove her point she brushed her hands against his sides.

Loki jerked against her movements and his head collided hard with hers. "Ow. Bad idea, Sif." He said as they rubbed the spot where their heads had collided.

"It's what you get for tickling me." Sif told him, sticking her tongue out at him. Loki stuck his tongue out back at her and tickled her side again, delighted to hear her squeal again. "Loki! Stop!" She whined at him, trying to grab at his hands again.

Loki halted in his movements once again. "Hmm...but I kind of like you squirming and begging. _Loki, stop!_ " He mocked her playfully.

Sif rolled her eyes and attempted to removed his hands from her sides. "Mean child." She stuck her tongue out at him again.

"That's really your best insult?" He laughed at her.

"At least I know how to shut you up!" Sif remarked with a smirk.

Loki gave her a questioning glare. "I doubt that you can. Prove it." Sif reached up and grabbed the sides of his face, pressing her lips against his briefly before pulling back.

He stared at her with wide eyes and she blushed in embarrasement. _Bad idea, Sif. Bad idea._  Her mind told her. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that-" 

"Shh, Sif." Loki shushed her quietly and continued to stare at her.  _You can't start developing feelings for her. It's the potion making her act this way. This is why you avoided her after the last time you kissed her and felt something for her_. A part of him wanted to pull away from her but another part of him didn't. "It's fine, Sif." He barely managed to whisper.  _Pulling away last time only lead to trouble though._  His mind was racing through his thoughts trying to figure out what to do next.  _You should keep Sif happy. Besides, don't you feel happy too?_  "I- I-"

"You what?" Sif asked him, questioning brown eyes bore into conflicting green ones. Loki pushed the thoughts out of his mind and made a decision. 


End file.
